Custom CSS of Section contains Conditional Preview for See Life Campaign Elements
Preview:
Julie Lyles Carr: I think every child that God brings to this planet is on a mission. And it’s our job as parents to help them understand what that purpose is and to not get in the way (laughs) of it with our own agenda on what we’re trying to fulfill as being parents. It really is about launching people into their purposes. So I often say, God didn’t call us to raise perfect children. He called us to raise purposed children.
End of Preview
John Fuller: That’s Julie Lyles Carr, and she joins us today on Focus on the Family, with your host Focus President and author Jim Daly, and I’m John Fuller.
Jim Daly: Uh, John, you have six children. Um, are they all alike?
John: Of course they are.
Jim: (laughs)
John: No, no, not in the least, and I do not know why that is.
Jim: It’s because we all come into this world with a little bit of a God stamp on us, right?
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: A little bit of a temperament. And, uh, not a, necessarily a temper, but we have, uh, pre-positioned, predestined, uh, I think, personality bents, you know? Extroversion, introversion, night person, morning person. I think these are things that are in our DNA when we get here. Um, I see that in my two boys. Uh, you know, there are such differences there. Study habits are very different (laughs), just the way they relate to people is quite different, and, uh, that’s something that is God-given, I think. I’m amazed at the fact that this is a finite box that we plan. In other words, you can do Myers-Briggs or the DISC test, these personality profile tests, and there’s four, five, maybe seven personality types that we all fit into, to where researchers and scientists now can basically say we’re unique, but we have a bent toward one kind of thing or another. And we’re gonna talk more about that today and how it applies to your original child.
John: And we wanna encourage you, because every child, as you said, Jim, is unique, and, um, our goal is not to force them into a box but to understand, uh, how God created them, and Julie Lyles Carr can help us do that. Uh, she’s a popular speaker and very active in ministry, and she and her husband Michael have eight children, and I’m sure they’re all alike.
Jim: (laughs)
John: Uh, she’s written an excellent book called Raising an Original: Parenting Each Child According to Their Unique God-Given Temperament, and, uh, it’s a joy to have her with us today.
Jim: Julie, welcome.
Julie: Thanks for having me.
Jim: On behalf of all moms…
Julie: (laughs)
Jim: With eight kids, are you sane, or what’s happening?
Julie: I guess we’re gonna find out.
Jim: I mean, in terms of your own sanity. It’s great, I love big families.
Julie: Well, we love it. And John, I know you can attest to this. It doesn’t feel like that many people to me-
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: …until I see us in a photograph. And then I think (laughs), “Who was responsible for that decision?” (laughing)
Jim: Your Christmas photo-
Julie: Yeah.
Jim: …which I got a copy of, is so beautiful.
Julie: Thank you.
Jim: It’s so nice.
Julie: It’s a tribe.
Jim: But, but it’s interesting. With eight children, you, you can test your theories here, ’cause you, uh, probably have a couple that are alike, but by and large, they’re all unique, but they have bents. Describe what I talked about in the opening there, that you have that extrovert, that introvert, that people person, the non-people person, the, the dreamer, the, uh, you know, person that’s into the analytics.
Julie: Yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes, and yes.
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: I mean, (laughs) we’ve got all of it, and it never fails to amaze me that these kids that we have raised together in this home, with the conversations-
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: …and the meals and the family traditions, all of that, can have such different ways in which they express their lives, different paths that the Lord leads them on, different interests, and different ways of just how they approach things. I think the thing that still is amazing to me even 10 years later is having had the experience of carrying twins and for them to be so completely different from each other (laughs). Yeah.
Jim: And was that your last pregnancy?
Julie: That was the last one.
Jim: So you had six-
John: Twins-
Jim: …and then you had twins.
Julie: Went for a round seven, got a bonus. Yeah.
Jim: How did that… Uh, uh, when the doctor said, “Listen, Michael and Julie, you’re gonna have twins,” uh, uh, what was your initial reaction? Like, “Wow, that’s great,” or “Oh my goodness, what?”
Julie: I really thought… We were halfway through the pregnancy, and my husband, who has never been able to look at a sonogram with any kind of acuity whatsoever, just like-
Jim: Well, I-
Julie: …”Well, is that a… What’s the…”
Jim: “What’s that problem with that?”
Julie: Right. All the kid-
Jim: I’d be in the same camp (laughs).
Julie: Oh, exactly. And so all the kids were actually in there, all six kids were in there. We were with a, a friend of mine who had a, a sonography studio, and so she had this big screen up on the wall where you can see the baby and, and they put that Doptone on there, and my husband went, “Is that two?”
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: And in my head, I thought, “They are so messing with me, right?”
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: I would know, this is my how many-th pregnan- If I had twins onboard, I would know. And the kids started screaming and jumping, and finally it dawned on me when my friend the sonographer said, “Let me see if that’s a third.” And that was the moment that I went-
Jim: Oh my goodness.
Julie: …”Oh, I, I guess it would be unprofessional-”
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: …”for a medical professional to, like, try to punk you that you were having twins if you weren’t.” (laughing) And we were just sort of in shock. I mean, we were thrilled, but-
Jim: So that’s how it soaked in, in that reality moment.
Julie: Yeah, it was, “Wow, I’m not on a reality show. I’m about to make my own reality show” (laughs). It was kind of a difference there.
John: Hm.
Jim: You know what I love in your book? You talk about never truly being prepared to be a parent. And I love that, because every one of you listening, if you’re a new parent, here is great advice. You’re not gonna do it perfectly. Uh, it doesn’t come with a manual. You can read all the books. Even if you do it well, your, your kids have their own temperament and their own disposition and personality, and the formulas don’t always work. Rarely do they work.
Julie: No. There’s a lot of improvs there (laughs).
Jim: Yeah, there’s a lot of improvs. I love that.
Julie: Lot of improvs. You know, the, the borders of righteousness are firm. We know what those are and what the Lord expects of us in terms of raising our kids, and to be, you know, valuable members of society and to love the Lord and, and to give back and to be contributors. We got that. But there’s so much room in the field of grace for how that expresses itself.
Jim: Hm.
Julie: And so I think sometimes when we all try to come up with the same choreography and we try to implement that on every single kid, we have kids that adopt it well, uh, that just seems to be a good fit for them, and kids that don’t. And not only those that it doesn’t really seem to fit, it can almost make ’em a little resentful, because we’re not seeing them.
Jim: Right.
Julie: We’re seeing first a template or we’re seeing first a system. And I think all of us have a deep desire to know that we have been seen for who we are.
Jim: Boy.
Julie: Not necessarily just the program (laughs).
Jim: That is so well said, and I think you look at teenagers today, they’re yearning for that recognition that, “I’m here. I’m in front of you, Mom, Dad.”
Julie: Mm-hmm.
Jim: You know, “Can we, can we communicate?” They don’t always invite you into that conversation like that, but they’re screaming it, aren’t they?
Julie: I think a lot of times for kids who seem to be resistant in those teen years, I think there’s a lot of saying, “If you know who I really am, do you really love me and accept me?”
Jim: Yeah.
Julie: “Or are you only willing to look at me through a filter of your own expectation?”
Jim: Wow.
Julie: And for any of us in any relationship, if we think that people are coming to the table with a filter of expectation, we already feel a hesitancy to really reveal who we are. We have a real ethic in our house that hopefully we’re seeing played out, but it’s keep the conversation going. Whatever I have to do to do my Oscar face, “Oh, really?”
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: “Is that how you chose to handle that? Interesting.”
Jim: Yeah.
Julie: “Talk to me about that.” Instead of the internal freak out, (laughs) which may actually be how it feels.
Jim: More good advice, actually.
Julie: You know, but to just have that, “Hey, let’s keep the conversation going,” stay neutral. “Tell me more, talk to me about that. Why was that the decision you made?”
Jim: You mention in the book what the purpose is, uh, and the real mission of parenting. I think you’re touching on it, but if, uh, if we were to just ask that question, why? What is the purpose to parenting? What would you say?
Julie: I just see all over the word of God that when he makes people, he places them, and the book of Acts tells us this, that he places people in specific times and specific epochs and specific places in geography for his purposes. When I look at the different accounts that we have throughout the word of God about people that he announced were on their way (laughs), whoever that was going to be, like a Gideon or a Samson or Jesus himself, he always predicated it with, “This child is going to do this, and this is why I’m bringing this child into the world.”
Jim: There was a mission.
Julie: There was a mission. I think every child that God brings to this planet is on a mission.
Jim: Hm.
Julie: And it’s our job as parents to help them understand what that purpose is and to not get in the way (laughs) of it with our own agenda on what we’re trying to fulfill as being parents. It really is about launching people into their purposes. So I often say God didn’t call us to raise perfect children. He called us to raise purposed children.
Jim: Yeah.
Julie: And the difference between those two words is pretty significant when it comes to the ways in which you approach your parents.
Jim: Uh, let me ask you, uh, you and Michael had your grand plan-
Julie: (laughs)
Jim: …for getting married. You know, so many young couples do. “This is the way it’s gonna be, and, uh, you know, we’re gonna have 3.3 children,” or whatever number (laughs). In your case, eight. And, uh, d- did your plans get disrupted? Uh, did they come true the way you think they should have and would have? Or take us back to the early decade, the first decade of your marriage. What happened?
Julie: We… Oh, our plan was so beautiful.
Jim: I bet it was.
Julie: I mean, Jim and John, we should’ve had the thing laminated. It should’ve been framed. It was just so well laid out and it had all these timelines and-
Jim: Professionally done (laughs).
Julie: Oh, very, very professionally done. Nice borders, it was awesome.
John: (laughs)
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: And so we had this big grand plan. I was in television and radio, Michael was gonna go to law school and, and get that first, you know, community, citywide, or maybe, you know, statewide, you know, Congressional or political seat of some sort, and, and at the ten-year mark, we would go to, I don’t know, let’s say Europe. And while we were in Europe, possibly in Italy or in Greece, we would conceive our first child. And it was all just very…
Jim: (laughs) That, that is some detail.
Julie: It was so beautifully laid out. Yeah, there was a lot of detail, there were, you know, housing requirements.
John: That’s quite a plan, yeah.
Julie: Yeah, housing requirements that were going to be met, a variety of things. And we had been married about seven months when we learned something that is profound for couples to learn, which is spontaneity can cause people.
Jim: (laughing)
Julie: And, so, we… 15 months into this new marriage with this beautiful 10-year plan, we had our first child, Madison.
Jim: Yeah.
Julie: And Michael in particular… I always loved kids and, and enjoyed being around kids, and Mike, you know, really, uh, kids, hm…
Jim: That came later.
Julie: Yeah, it… Well, we talked him into it, right?
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: Um, but he really was someone who had thought, “I don’t know if I’ll ever had kids.” And I knew this when we married. You know, “I, I don’t know if I’ll ever have kids. If I do, it will be far down the line and maybe one. Maybe two, maybe.” And over time, the Lord really worked on us, because it was one of the question, we’d never bothered to ask God. We had asked him about what jobs to take and-
Jim: Hm.
Julie: …where we were supposed to live and things like that, but we’d never asked, “Oh yeah, and kids and family. Like, got any thoughts?” And, um…
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: And apparently the Lord did.
Jim: Kind of a good question.
Julie: And so we… When we opened up that question, we discovered that God had really softened our hearts for the experience of a bigger family.
John: You’re listening to Focus on the Family, and our guest today is Julie Lyles Carr, and you can find her book Raising an Original: Parenting Each Child According to Their Unique God-Given Temperament, along with other helpful resources, at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Let’s go ahead and get back now to the conversation with Julie Lyles Carr.
Jim: Julie, her- here’s the question. Why do we try so hard to be normal, as, uh, opposed to, uh, identifying that originality that God has created? I mean, he’s a creator of life, and he gave us a bouquet, not a single flower. Um, why do we lean toward normal and find comfort in normal rather than, “Let’s raise these kids as originals.” All eight, in your case.
Julie: I think for a lot of us, some of our greatest hopes and fears have to do with our kids. And if we can find something that we think is gonna be guaranteed, then it seems to take some of that fear off, it quells that. I think we all love things that feel like formulas and guarantees and, and certain ways that we think will work, and it’s always fascinating to me when people ask me about the expression of raising our kids. “Well, tell me exactly. Well, give me the list.” And I’m like, “What?”
Jim: Right. (laughs)
Julie: You need to talk about your kids, because what’s worked for some of mine may not work for some of yours. We have a funny story that we tell. One of my children, my second child McKenna, she really likes things to be plotted out well. She likes to know what’s coming up, what she can expect, and she has a real heart to be compliant and to be on track. She really likes knowing what the parameters are.
Jim: Meet the expectations.
Julie: Correct, she really likes that. So when the oldest kids were young, I was looking for efficiency models, and so I had this chart. Well, if you do this, this is the punitive consequence. So if you do that, it’s gonna be this much time out, and if you do this, then it’s gonna be… I’m gonna get to take that stuffed animal, and if you do this… And I laid it all out. McKenna looked at that chart, and you could see her little mind going, “Okay, excellent. Okay.”
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: “Never gonna do any of that stuff.”
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: Third child, Justice, walked up to the list and went, “Totally worth it. Gonna do all of it.”
Jim: (laughing)
Julie: Like… He was like, “Fantastic. I know what to expect.”
Jim: “These consequences aren’t severe.”
Julie: “It’s not, not a big deal. I’m willing to pay the price.” So I think that some of it is trying to make efficiency models. I think some of it is we want those guarantees. But I tell you the thing that I find over and over. We, to some degree, find a lot of our identity in our parenting.
Jim: Oh, yeah.
Julie: And if we have a kid go rogue or we have a kid who does something the way that we didn’t like, or we have a kid… I don’t know, speaking hypothetically for a friend whose child always shows up to Sunday school with two different shoes on and the nastiest shirt you’ve ever seen. That would be one of mine.
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: You know, how are people gonna judge me?
Jim: Right.
Julie: What are they gonna think about me and what does it say about me? So I think some of it is out of a, um, a desire to really do things that are beneficial and good for our kids, but some of it really is to protect ourselves sometimes, because we really don’t want people to judge us.
Jim: But Julie, how do we untangle ourselves from that? First, how do we recognize it? And then B, what, what is the other way? And is that sufficient to ensure that our kids have the best shot at doing well in life? Because I think it’s all kind of wrapped up in their success and how we measure them, by their grades, by, you know, what col- We all talk about what college our kids are going to, don’t we? I mean, that’s usually it, but not all kids are cut out for college.
Julie: Right.
Jim: There’s vocational, uh, uh, pathways, there’s other things that they can do to earn a living. But we do tend to freak out and panic. So speak to that mom specifically, who is in that mold of, you know, “I’m watching all these things.” Uh, how does she relax and where does she find her security and her comfort, even if her kids aren’t doing what she wants them to do?
Julie: One of the questions that I ask myself if I start bumping up against something where I’m like, “Ooh, I don’t know that I want them wearing or doing or saying… Or what did they just post on social media with my last name on it?” (laughs) You know, those kinds of things. I ask myself this question. Who is the “they” I’m worried about? You know, we have this sort of societal, mythological “they,” and that “they” tells us things like, “You can’t wear white pants after Labor Day,” and that “they” has certain expectations about when your Christmas tree can go up and when your Christmas tree can come down. And that “they” actually governs a lot of some of the, you know… (laughs) [inaudible] Different cattle chutes that we try to put our kids in, and we think they’re supposed to work through.
Julie: Sometimes it’s a “they” that is sort of the “they,” the Church, broadly. “Well, what will the Church think? And if I’m trying to raise godly kids, what will they say if they see this? And does that match their definition-”
Jim: Hm.
Julie: …”of godly kids?” And sometimes it’s the “they” that’s within just our own extended family and community. “Oh my goodness, if my mother realizes that I’ve let them do blah, blah, blah, or if they get wind that so-and-so’s gonna go to community college first,” you know.
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: “What, what is my father-in-law going to say?” We’ve got this “they” that we worry about. When I identify that “they,” it helps me identify, “Well, is that God’s guidance and voice or is that me seeking approval or trying to buffer against some kind of judgment?” So I think when mom hits that place that she’s freaking out a little bit, who is the “they”?
Jim: Identify that.
Julie: Who’s… Who… Uh, identify it? And if it’s really someone that is important and is a mentor, is someone who disciples you, okay, that’s an important “they” to listen to. But if it’s a “they” who’s always critical or it’s an extended family member who always has an opinion that’s different than what God is guiding you to do for your child, that “they” just has to get quiet, and you need to not allow your emotion to spool when that “they”-
Jim: Yeah.
Julie: …can be shouting very loudly. I think it’s really important for all of us to take a strong look at how God is asking us to raise each individual kid, and I don’t think we often stop to ask that.
Jim: Yeah, it’s so true. Uh, wh- Let me ask you this. When God sees us, you know, mom and dad and the kids, in your case, the eight kids that he’s given you, what is he looking for?
Julie: I think he’s looking for a celebration of what he’s created. I, you know… Genesis tells us that God creates and he stands back and he, and he says, “This is good stuff. (laughs) This is great.”
Jim: Yeah.
Julie: And so I think he’s looking for people to partner with him in parenting, who equip themselves to celebrate his good purpose and what he has designed. You know, I’ve got kids that are quirky, I’ve got kids who behave in funny ways. I’ve got kids who… You know, my 16-year-old who goes to the grocery store without shoes. I know, I know. But I celebrate that now in a way that was hard for me to celebrate initially when I thought there should’ve been, you know, stronger rules, or “What are people gonna think?”
Jim: How did you get there, though? I gotta ask you, because, I mean, has he ever looked at the bottom of his feet when he got home? (laughs)
Julie: You guys… It’s, it’s what you pay attention to, right? (laughs)
Jim: But, but, but, I mean, it’s true, though. What… Uh, and I’m just thinking of, particularly, again, moms, but dads too, that are so wrapped up in, “How could you ever do that?” I have used those words.
Julie: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Unfortunately. And I would love to be more celebratory (laughs)-
Julie: (laughs)
Jim: …with the boys and their uniquenesses, but ho- how do you move from point A to point B, uh, to where you can relax, and you’re prioritizing, uh, appropriately and concentrating on the right thing so you’re not really doing damage?
Julie: You know, I think for me, part of it… And, and when people ask about the size of our family in terms of, “Well, what’s the testimony on that?” You know, “That, that means God thinks you’re amazing parents.” I’m like, “Maybe it just took…”
Jim: How many did you adopt? (laughs)
Julie: (laughs) Yeah, uh, they always get asked that too. Um, but you know, I think part of it may just be that God’s like, “I finally got through to her after eight.” (laughs)
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: Like, “She finally figured it out.” I think part of it organically came about for me, because honestly, when you’re raising this number of kids, there are certain things you just learn organically are not that important. Okay, so a kid went to the ballet, and he was wearing nasty sneakers. Nobody died, it’s okay.
Jim: Yeah.
Julie: And so, I think some of those things, just… And basic survival of, “Do we have everybody in the car and is everybody at least somewhat covered?”
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: “Fine. We’re good. It’s a victory.” I think that really resetting what my expectations were for what children can do, who they can be, and then just through the process of seeing… When you celebrate someone and you honor them, compliance and those times that you need to say, “Hey, I’m just asking, just for this family wedding, would you please take the blue out of your hair?” You know, it…
Jim: (laughs)
Julie: When you, when you really reduce down, where it’s not every day you’re hammering them about something else that doesn’t meet your preference. I mean, here’s the reality. I decorate my home based on a preference I have. How would I feel if I had somebody coming into my world and saying, “You must decorate in this certain way,” when really, at the end of the day, it’s a non-sequitur. That’s become one of the questions I’ve tried to focus on as well, is, “What is a non-sequitur? What really, in the grand scope of things, does not matter?”
Jim: Hm.
Julie: In comparison to the health and the joy of this kid’s soul. If that kid wants to wear weird nail polish or wants to wear a ripped whatever, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter, because they’re a great, grand person with compassion. Let’s just celebrate that.
Jim: And I love that. And let’s get into that personality type, which is what your book is based on, kind of the DISC test of old.
Julie: Right.
Jim: But you’ve applied it in a different way and given the DISC acronym different names. But I love it, it’s a way for us to understand God’s hand in our development and how we think. And again, these are broad concepts. Uh, you’re probably a mix of all of ’em, or three of them or whatever the, the way that you see yourself. But let’s go through the DISC acronym and describe it for us. The D of DISC, what does that represent?
Julie: I changed the word just a little bit, because I felt that some of the, uh, technical terms that are used in the traditional DISC, and there are, uh, actually even some that preceded that that were, uh, even a little more strong, uh, I wanted these terms to feel victorious and like a win. I, I didn’t want it to be like, “Oh, that’s the bossy one,” or, you know-
Jim: Yeah (laughs).
Julie: …”Oh, that’s the shy one.” You know, I wanted it to feel like-
Jim: Right.
Julie: …from a place of empowerment.
Jim: All positive.
Julie: Very much so. So with the D, I’ve, I’ve called that the director. And, and this is the kid-
Jim: (laughs) I like that.
Julie: …you know that you just see on the playground who just seems to organically be able to get everybody in line, and “We’re gonna do a play here on the playground. And I’m gonna do this, and you’re gonna do this, this, and this.” And people go, “Oh, okay.”
Jim: (laughs) Yeah, right.
Julie: (laughs) Like, they’re just like, “It’s just that vibe. Yeah.”
Jim: Fall in line.
Julie: Yeah, just that vibe.
Jim: Right, they’re leaders.
Julie: They’re leaders, they are leaders. Now, I, I believe everybody is a leader.
Jim: Right.
Julie: Everybody’s leading somebody, but these are the ones who tend to lead the biggest groups in an organized way and in a way that is very, very task specific. That’s a really important designation between the next one I’m gonna talk about, which is the I, and I call that one the inspirer. Now, the inspirer can get everybody, uh, together on the playground, but it’s for audience, ’cause they’re gonna do a comedy bit (laughs).
Jim: (laughs) Right, okay.
Julie: So it’s a little bit different. And theirs is much more about those relationships, and having fun, and being spontaneous, and engaging everybody in that sense of fun. And so that’s the difference between those two styles of leadership, if you will. They’re both very attractional, people tend to flock around, but for the director, its task, and for the inspirer, it’s more people, relational.
Jim: Relationship, yep.
Julie: Correct. And then I have what I call the S, the steadfast. And this is the person who also is very relational, like the influencer, but the steadfast doesn’t need 274 friends at a sitting. They’re great with just a smaller group that they really invest in. What’s also interesting with the steadfast is as much as the inspirer doesn’t really care if things are different and new and there’s no routine, the steadfast really likes for things to be fairly plotted out. They like to know what’s coming, they are an amazing person to come alongside, a great second, if you will. I kind of don’t like that term, it’s a little weighted, but-
Jim: But a wonderful friend, a good-
Julie: Wonderful friend. They’re the one-
Jim: …helpmate.
Julie: Yes.
Jim: All that.
Julie: All of that. So I love the steadfasts in my life, because I just think they help make the world go round. And then we have what I call the curator. And the curator, that’s the person who labels their label maker. Like, they really love spreadsheets, they really love knowing the data, and they don’t really need people in general. They’re something of a lone wolf, like, “You know what? I got this. You guys are great, let me go do my thing.” We need curators in the world, they’re really important to have. And I think that they lead in a way that is sort of different, obviously, than a D or an I or an S, but they lead in a way by saying, “Let’s set a standard.” And when you’re someone who sets a standard, you are leading. And so I also find that the curators in my world are more task oriented. So we’ve got the director and curator, who are more task oriented. The director wants people to organize (laughs), the curator wants stuff to organize. The I, the influencer, and the S, the steadfast, are more relational. The influencer likes and… Or inspirer is another way of saying it, also really likes to have lots of people around, the steadfast really doesn’t need as many but also likes that relational aspect.
Jim: And goes deep. Those are great generalities to understand the bent of your child and then help parent in that direction, right?
John: Hm.
Julie: Hm.
Jim: So you don’t try to take a director and make them into, you know, an influencer or something like that. Know their bent and then help them in that way. Is that fair?
Julie: I think that’s very fair. Now, the other corollary is neither do you want to take a snapshot of a child at a certain stage of development and say, “You’re a director. Director, director, director.” When ultimately, that child may say, “You know, actually I feel like I’m a bit more of an inspirer.”
Jim: Right.
Julie: “I kind of like more of that influential role in a positive and comedic way.” So to make sure that we leave enough room, this is not something we’re stamping on them. It’s a way of understanding who they are in this season. We do have bents that come very naturally, but we see some things rise and crest and then maybe dip a bit, depending on what season of life we’re in, what kind of experiences we’re having, and the various roles that God can call us into in certain seasons.
John: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I appreciate that, because I think a lot of us, especially when the kids are younger, we want to know, “Who is this child going to be when they grow up?”
Jim: (laughs)
John: And we miss the opportunity of, “Who are they right now?”
Jim: Right.
John: And, and there is a transition that happens for a lot of kids. They move from one kind of style to another, or you didn’t see the style and it finally shows up when they’re a young adult, and it’s glorious to find out, “Oh, I didn’t know that.”
Julie: Right. I think it still is being in that place of wanting to continue discovery.
John: Yeah.
Julie: That we don’t have a… We don’t ever have it all figured out. But that’s the glory of it (laughs).
Jim: And I love that, I love that attitude of a parent, to be in that direction, to get to know your child and to find out their likes and dislikes, really, uh, know them well, know their hearts. Julie, this has been so much fun. We’re gonna have to have you back.
Julie: Well, thank you.
Jim: And talk more about this. Um, in the book Raising an Original, you do have the, the, the assessment-
Julie: Mm-hmm.
Jim: …uh, for the child, and so, when you pick up the book, you can, uh, use that with your own kids to kind of identify where they’re at, I think that’s terrific.
John: Hmm.
Jim: And this is one of those resources that will help you in your parenting. I so appreciate your attitude, having eight children, just that ability to know what are the important things and what are the unimportant things, right?
Julie: Yes, gotta have it. Gotta have it.
Jim: It, it… You gotta have it.
Julie: (laughs)
Jim: Well, one of the things, uh, with eight children, you’re forced to efficiency. You can’t really worry about the things that aren’t important.
Julie: Right, right. Absolutely.
Jim: You gotta move on.
Julie: We do.
Jim: And I… That has come through loud and clear, and even for the mom that has one child, and the mom and dad, uh, you know, uh, for both of you, if you’re in that spot where you’re panicking a bit, this is an excellent resource for you. And, uh, one of the things that we have as well is the Seven Traits of Effective Parenting assessment that’s on the Focus website, uh, to help you identify your strengths and your weaknesses when it comes to the parenting side of this. So I’d encourage you to take that, um, it’s free, and, uh, there’s also resources there that will augment, uh, those, um, maybe not as strong areas, right, John?
John: Yeah, Jim. That’s absolutely right. Uh, I’ve taken the assessment. It does shine a light on your strengths, and, uh, it does give you some ideas on how to grow as well, and I hope you’re inspired to do that. Uh, take the assessment when you’re at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. And by the way, uh, as you can, please donate to the ministry of Focus on the Family and request a copy of Julie’s book Raising an Original: Parenting Each Child According to Their Unique God-Given Temperament. And once again, our phone number, 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.
Jim: Uh, in fact, John, uh, we believe in this content, Julie, to the point where if, uh, the listener, you wanna get a copy, just make a donation of any amount. If you can’t afford it, get a hold of us, we’ll get it into your hands, and I’m sure others will help us cover the cost of that, but we believe in it. Julie, you have really done a great job putting this, uh, together and helping us think differently about how to parent with the grace of God, the love of God, and the discernment of God, so it is a great resource. Thanks for being with us.
Julie: Thank you so much for having me.
John: Hm. And do plan now to join us next time, as we hear from John Burke. He’ll explain why it’s important to stay connected to God.
Preview:
John Burke: A branch doesn’t have to work hard to produce fruit. All it has to do is stay connected to the trunk, the vine, and fruit happens naturally. I’m the vine, you’re the branches. Stay connected to me and you will bear much fruit, apart from me you can do nothing.
End of Preview
Julie Lyles Carr is a popular public speaker and radio personality. She is also a women’s pastor at her church and the founder and executive director of Legacy of Hope Austin, a non-profit organization serving families with special needs children. Julie narrates audio books for Thomas Nelson and Zondervan and is a contributing writer to the blog AllMomDoes. Julie’s book, Raising an Original, was released in 2016 and has become a best-seller. She and her husband, Michael, reside in Austin, Texas, and have eight children. Learn more about Julie by visiting her website, julielylescarr.com.
Receive Julie Lyles Carr's book Raising an Original for your donation of any amount!
As a parent, it’s good to have fun with your children. Even if you’re not the naturally, fun-loving type, John and Danny will give some ideas for how you can have a good time with your kids. Featuring Dr. Kevin Leman and Jean Daly.
Couples who go the distance don’t just drift into a successful relationship. Truth be told, it takes consistent effort to succeed in marriage. John, Erin and Greg share how you can stay intentional in striving for a great relationship with your spouse. Featuring Pastor Kevin Thompson.
Susie Larson shares how she learned to fight for the identity Jesus gave her as His precious daughter, even though her life experiences made her feel like a ‘second-class citizen.’ Starting at age nine when we she was attacked by a group of boys, Susie felt she was targeted for tragedy. Hear how she found a whole new perspective and identity as a “daughter of the King.”
Popular Christian vocalist Larnelle Harris reflects on his five-decade music career, sharing the valuable life lessons he’s learned about putting his family first, allowing God to redeem a troubled past, recognizing those who’ve sacrificed for his benefit, and faithfully adhering to biblical principles amidst all the opportunities that have come his way.
Our guests share their dramatic stories of surviving the attempts to end their lives while in their mother’s womb, providing a stark and undeniable counter argument to pro-abortionists who argue that a fetus is not a living human being. (Part 1 of 2)
Our guests share their dramatic stories of surviving the attempts to end their lives while in their mother’s womb, providing a stark and undeniable counter argument to pro-abortionists who argue that a fetus is not a living human being. (Part 2 of 2)
As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism
Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, Strong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers.
Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.
Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.
Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married Sex, Sacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.
“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.
Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!
Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!
Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!
Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!
Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!
Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!
After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!
Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!
So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!
Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!
Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.
Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.
You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.
To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.
Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.
Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!
God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.
Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution. Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast.
Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.
For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.
Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.
With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.
For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.
Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.
With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.
Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.
Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be Men, Real Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.
Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.
They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!
Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,
A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.
Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.
Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married Sex, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.
In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.
As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.
Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.
With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.
You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.
Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of Reality, Tactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.
In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.
Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.
Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married Sex, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.
Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.
As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.
Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.
Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.
As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.
With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.
Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.
Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.
Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order Book, Have a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.
Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.
Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.
Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order Book, Have a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.
Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.
Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.
Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married Sex, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.
Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.
Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven
W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.
This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.
Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.
Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.
You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.
Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.
Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be Men, Real Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.
Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.
They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!
Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,
A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.
Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.
Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married Sex, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.
In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.
As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism
Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, Strong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers.
Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.
Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!
Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!
Thank you for submitting this form. You will hear from us soon.
